Family Gatherings

When people ask me what my favorite childhood memory is, I have to say that Christmas 1979 is at the top of the list. My dad was one of eight kids in an Irish Catholic family. I am blessed to be in this family. The only way to describe what family gatherings were like would be to say that it was loud, passionate, and full of life. People filled all rooms in the house. There were discussions of politics, religion, reminiscing of old times. There were hugs and kisses, teasing and joking, and a bit of resentment thrown in for good measure (although as a kid I didn't pick up on the resentment part). I had all sorts of cousins to play with and we were often sent to eat somewhere away from the grownups and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! The smells of food coming from the kitchen, the plates of hor d'oeurves scattered througout the house, filled my heart with love.

In 1979, my dad's family accomplished an amazing feat. They were able to all come for Christmas. One family came from Alaska and another family came from South Africa. It was the first time in my 10 years that I had celebrated a holiday with everyone present. We had a family portrait taken before Christmas which was the big kick-off to a family celebration.

Christmas day was at my Aunt Kathleen's house. She had long tables for us to sit at and we had Christmas Crackers to open before dinner. Each cracker had a silly paper hat, a joke, and a trinket of some sort. We went down the table, all of us wearing silly hats reading our jokes aloud. My grandparents looked so silly to me but I loved it.

Opening presents took a long time, but it didn't matter. It was noisy, boisterous, and full of life. I remember what I got from my grandparents too. Granny had made her granddaughters vests. Mine was navy blue with a big "M" on the front. The grandsons got Almond Roca. I wore that vest for a few years when it would get cold, but not quite cold enough for a jacket.

Dessert was served and us kids got to pass it out. I loved to do the coffee. The big industrial percolater was fun to use, but walking across a crowded room trying not to spill or burn my skin was the challenge.

Holidays in my family meant that you stayed up until the wee hours while my parents talked and talked. I always fell asleep in the car. The celebration did not end as we spent New Year's Day together as well. I remember thinking that it would be so quiet when my family would go back to their daily routines and not see each other almost every day like we did that Christmas break.

Being a part of this family means so much to me. My family has demonstrated over and over again what family means. It is about gathering and loving each other, even during hard times. In 1983 when my grandpa died, I saw my family gathered again, only under devistating circumstances. We grieved together. Again, in 1985, when my dad died suddenly and much too young, my family gathered again. This time they supported me and my mom & brother. We grieved together again. Family gatherings became very important to me after that, because I felt loved, I could feel the presence of my dad there. I miss those days when everyone was alive, young, and so energetic.

By 2009, my granny and my Aunt Sheila have joined my dad & Gramps in heaven. I wonder what it's like for them there and are they preparing our place for our eventual gatherings? I suspect it's a lot like when I was a kid, my granny laughing and talking about old times. My aunt hugging everyone, and my dad and gramps arguing about something. I suppose that I'll find out when my time comes.

So, 1979 was the last holiday we all gathered to celebrate. Now we gather in smaller groups as we have moved around the country. It's okay, because despite smaller numbers, I feel that love that somehow is hard to describe. I am eternally grateful for being in an Irish Catholic family (even if I'm not a practicing catholic). It made me who I am and defines me. I love my family.

Christmas Is Coming.....

It's that time of the year when I wake up each morning and think, what do I have to do today in order to be ready for Christmas? Ugh....is this the way we are to celebrate our Savior's birth? Our family's gift list has been pared down quite a bit in the last couple of years, so it's not so overwhelming and budget busting. I love the idea of homemade gifts and I'm even attempting that this year. In the midst of the countdown to the 25th, I have to stop and think. Think about the TRUE meaning of Christmas. I think about Mary and what she went through. She was engaged to Joseph and was pregnant with the son of God. By all accounts, she could have been punished and sentenced to death, but Joseph knew what was going on. The angels told him and so he supported her. I've often wondered what their relationship was like, as we don't really know.

Mothers love their babies, no doubt about it, but Mary's baby was special. How was it for her to raise her son? How was it for her to let him go to fulfill his destiny? I can't imagine.

I put out the decorations, wrap the gifts, attempt to get in some baking, listen to my favorite Christmas music, and ask God to put in my heart the feeling that Christmas should have.

It's time to rejoice in the ultimate love and sacrifice that He gave us. It's time to reflect on how I can become more Christ-like. It's time to stop and listen to those around me who are hurting and who are in need. It's time for Christmas.

Danny Boy

What is it with little boys? Seriously, they kill me! My youngest son is something else. He has a wicked sense of humor. He is passionate about whatever he is into at the time. Last year it was Indiana Jones and so all summer long, every day, he wore his Indiana Jones costume. It didn't matter how hot it was, he walked around wearing the polyester costume. He watched the movies daily and when he drew pictures they were always pictures of him as 'Indy". Now it's Star Wars and he wears his Anakin costume and practices his light sabre moves in the family room.

And he's learned to swear. I have heard it and I have called him on it, but there is something funny about little kids swearing. He's learned the slang for his body parts which he loves to talk about ALL. THE. TIME!! And yet, it's hard to be mad because he smiles, his jack-o-lantern smile and laughs and then I laugh and well, what was I mad about??

I know that when Daniel gets older, he and I will be friends. We have the same humor and we enjoy being together. He's my baby and he's 8 and I find myself getting sad over the fact that he and his big brother are growing older. I miss the toddler faces, the joy of watching preschool programs on tv, and naps.

My son tries to be tough, but he wants me to be at school when the last bell rings. He needs me to tuck him into bed. He still wants to cuddle with me. I soak it all up knowing that in no time will he be wanting to hang out with his friends and would rather I pick him up a block away from school. The other day I was hugging him and I breathed in his dirty boy smell. That sweaty smelly boy is my son and I love him. God blessed me with my boys.

My Boys Is 10 Today

Where does the time go? I remember people telling me to enjoy the moments when Brendan was born. I knew what they meant, but in the midst of being a first time parent, you forget to enjoy it sometimes.

I wanted Brendan long before I ever became pregnant. I daydreamed about what he would look like. I longed to hold my own baby, to be a mom. I have always told Brendan the reason he is so special is because he made me a mom.

When Brendan came into this world, he made a spectacular entrance. After an extremely long and difficult labor, he entered the world. My joy was short-lived when I realized I hadn't heard him cry and there were many doctors crowded around him. He had fluid in his lungs and needed to be transported to the NICU. They showed him to me before he was whisked away. I longed to hold him, but because of his condition, it would have to wait. He had to be placed in an oxygen tent to help clear out his lungs and he also had a rapid heartbeat. Todd and I would make the trek from my room to the NICU to look at him and touch his hand. It wasn't how I thought it would be, but I was patient.

When my health improved, I was able to go home, but Brendan had to stay. It was heart wrenching to say the least, to leave the hospital without our baby. I cried the whole way home. The only bright spot of that day was that I got to hold him finally. And his heartbeat slowed down to a normal rhythm once I held him. Oh the joy of finally holding our son!!

Two days later, the doctors finally released Brendan and we got to bring him home. Those first few weeks were scary, but we managed. We all got to know each other. We learned how to work together. We became a family. I miss those days.

Brendan was a delightful baby. He was so happy when he woke up in the mornings. I would come into his room and he would be standing up in his crib smiling away. And when I would say "Good Morning!!" he would jump up and down and laugh. To this day, he is in a good mood when he wakes up. Brendan loved to sort the cans in the cupboard, play with blocks, "read" his books. He was smart and seemed to take it all in.

He liked to go for walks in the neighborhood. He'd sit in his stroller and we'd point out cars, animals, trees, colors. We'd stop at the park and he'd sit in the swing while I pushed. When we went on our first big vacation, he was the best baby. A long 15 hour flight to Australia didn't phase him at all. He was a trooper when he got his first ear infection, half a world away. He had a great time exploring a new land, meeting many new people.

When Brendan was 2, he became a big brother. He helped me and learned how to entertain his little brother. He didn't always want to share, didn't always like having a little brother, but he always did right by Daniel.

The early years seem so long ago. Now, he's a big boy. He's an excellent reader, a good student, and a lover of video games. He is sensitive and spiritual, he thinks about the big picture. We have had some great talks about God, Heaven, and Jesus Christ. He understands what it means to be a Christian, to be a good person. Brendan is in Cub Scouts and absolutely loves it. He loves to play chess, play Pokemon, swim, dive, and hike.

Brendan has a great sense of gratitude. If I take the boys out for a special treat, a day at a park, whatever, he always thanks me. And he thanks me without prompting from someone else. He's a good boy.

When I look at that blond haired, blue eyed boy, I am overcome with love. My firstborn is special because he made me a mom. Happy Birthday Brendan. I love you.

Good Times

On the 4th of July, the boys and I camped out in the backyard. You would have thought I handed the each $100 with their excitement. It was Daniel's idea of what he wanted to do and I agreed. So I set up the tent, inflated the air mattresses and rolled out the sleeping bags. In the tent we had flashlights and a few good books. They told me I was the greatest mom in the world. After the lights went out, Daniel snuggled in next to me and off to sleep I went. It was true bliss.

Next morning, I was a bit stiff, but it was worth it.

Since money is tight, we're doing more things on the cheap. In my family we call it being thrifty. It cost us nothing to camp in the backyard and yet they loved it. Going on a hike on a local trail = free. 10:00am movies at the local theater = free. Afternoon at the local library = free. It can be done people. What's so amazing is that the less money I spend, the more I enjoy myself. Am I the only one who feels a panic attack coming when I spend a lot of money?

Good times are spent sitting around the table eating dinner as a family. Good times are spent swimming in our backyard pool. Good times are spent working on a craft project together. Good times are being with my loved ones. You know the saying, less is more? I've really come to appreciate it and understand its true meaning. These are lean times right now, but I think I'll look back at this time as one of the best times in our lives.

Up

Have you seen the movie "Up"? Yesterday I took the boys to the movies to escape the sweltering heat. I have to say that I triple loved that movie!!! All ages will enjoy it, and I walked away with a lot to think about. I won't get into the details of the movie, but let's just say that to encompass what it's about....it's about how life doesn't always work out how we imagined it would, but go along for the ride anyway. We need to keep that in mind in our daily life.

My life takes twists and turns all the time. It's easy to get all worked up over "stuff", but in the end it doesn't matter. Take time to enjoy the interruptions!